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Joke of the Day

"whats red and bangs on the window? A baby in the microwave"

"I bring Mayweather with me when I work at customer service... Because he's great at avoiding fights."

"Sometimes u see the moon during the day and it's like, wow, how embarrassing. Showed up early because you were bored? Get a life, nerd moon."

"Jokes What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta"

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!"

"6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?"

"What's the funniest joke that doesn't reference itself? Clearly not this one!"

"How do you keep your wife screaming after an orgasm? Wipe your dick on the curtains."

"If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup."

"A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base."