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Joke of the Day

"Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends."

"Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account."

"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."

"Q: Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women? A: He wanted a Czech mate."

"What does a burning Mexican farm smell like? Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos."

"What does 90 year old vagina taste like? Depends"

"""Hand me downs"" Apparently not the right way to ask the wife to hand me our disabled baby."

"I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money"

"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."

"What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity? Dad you're crushing my cigarettes."