116219

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy? The horse knows when I'm grooming him."

"How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite? Namaste home tonight."

"How do you milk an almond?"

"Why are you so fat? Because I eat a lot of pussy"

"Why does a hummingbird hum? It forgot the lyrics."

"My wife said she wouldn't have sex with me until I did everything on the ""To-Do list"" So I scratched out **#1** ""*Wash the car*"" and replaced it with ""*Have a three-some with Becky and Wife*"""

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"What do you call an Optomitrist who is very highly thought of in his community? Respectacle"

"Pretty nice 7 mile run, and I don't even care that that woman passed me because her cane was like a whole extra leg that never gets tired."

"""United Airlines? More like DIVIDED Airlines"" he said as thunderous applause erupted in the terminal, wild cheers & all the old folks crying"