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Joke of the Day

"I heard a man at the beach yelling ""I can't swim!"" Well, I can't play the fucking Piano but am I bitching about it? Attention Whore..."

"i was going to tell a gay joke... buttfuckit"

"Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands? Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is..."

"If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby."

"The Band ACDC was Arrested For Firearm Possession... They told the officer they only Shoot to Thrill"

"I killed a man once, because killing him twice is a physical impossibility."

"The student asked his sensei: ""Why do you fight using only your feet?"" Oh, y'know. For kicks."

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"BREAKING NEWS!! Cheese Factory Explosion... De-Brie is everywhere!"

"Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do an essay."