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Joke of the Day

"I heard a man at the beach yelling ""I can't swim!"" Well, I can't play the fucking Piano but am I bitching about it? Attention Whore..."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. [Credit Jack Handy, I believe]"

"A family of crows flying into a windmill is a murder suicide"

"Why did black people pick so much cotton? Because we told them to."

"what do you call a clan of barbarians you cant see? invisigoths"

"My dog ate a bunch of tissues yesterday. Looks like his ass is going to wipe itself for awhile."

"What do you call a urinary tract infection caused in a virgin? Immaculate Infection"

"They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him. You could say he was really nailing it."

"Have you heard the slogan for Charles Dickens Brand Hard Cider? There is nothing quite like a hard Dickens' Cider!"

"my parents did a terrible job of distributing my skill points"