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Joke of the Day

"There is no ""I"" in the word ""team,"" but I don't think that means anything about team work. That's just how it's spelled."

"Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years? A: Peat!!!"

"Rebecca Romaine Lettuce. Is that something? I don't care. It's just one tweet in an entire universe. Who gives a shit."

"I really hope the word ""sodomized"" doesn't appear in my autopsy report."

"Our Unabashed Dictionary defines wet dream... As the winner of a damp-t-shirt contest."

"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going."

"What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christ ler"

"Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he's a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna."

"Doc : Do you know what blood type you are? Me : Red?"

"Forget everything you learned in college... ...You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.' 'Well then, I'm sorry. You are under qualified to work here.'"""