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Joke of the Day

"My African Neighbour just accused me of being racist.I said, "" F*ck Off, I've got a coloured TV ""."

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, *look what's telling me that.*"

"The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"Why can't Jesus eat Skittles? Because they're always falling through the holes his hands."

"ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said ""satin."""

"What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"What does your s*** smell like? Freedom."

"When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha"

"I'm going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night."