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Joke of the Day

"Don't take it personally if I don't like you. Some of my best friends are people I don't like."

"Some tattoo artists need to just say, ""no, I'm not doing this shit."""

"The town emergency siren sounds. I peer out my bedroom window. ""It can't be"" I mutter. ""Honey, grab the kids. Hot local singles are coming."""

"*Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*"

"I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well... I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this."

"A poem for r/Jokes ""Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog."""

"I've had my phone battery die at a family function. Nothing scares me now."

"This fat hate on reddit has been ridiculous lately. Come on, give them a break. They have enough on their plates already."

"How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway."

"What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 13 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either."