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Joke of the Day

"I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today.. On the front they say 'I would do anything for love' and on the back they say 'But I wont do that!'"

"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."

"If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes."

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"Modern Haircuts by Sean Head"

"How can you tell a blonde is having a really bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil!"

"This morning I woke up to a tap on my front door. My plumber has a weird sense of humour."

"""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"" ""Mister President, we've been over this..."""

"What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit? Can't- elope!"

"""The new iPhone 6 is bigger!"" Meh. ""It has more sensors!"" Pfft. ""You can block group texts."" I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE"