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Joke of the Day

"Imagine how much more useful Superman would've been if he'd helped people move their heavy furniture instead."

"I dont get laid nearly enough for someone who can name five different types of pokemon."

"Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?"

"I went to a Mechanic when my car started making these awful noises but it just turned out to be Nickelback playing on the radio."

"What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photos? Someday my prints will come"

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great service but no atmosphere."

"If I ever go missing... I would like my photo but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know where to look for me."

"Justice Prevail for Morons"

"[ First Date ] Her: So you're a MMA fighter? * flashback to me kickboxing a mannequin at Nordstrom's * Me: Yea, I'm still training"

"When you're down 'neath the sea, and an eel bites your knee... That's a moray!"