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Joke of the Day

"I'm only friends with people who are taller than me, just in case of thunderstorms."

"If you want us to know how much you love biking, we better see your cock and balls through your shorts."

"Skywritten letters: SUSAN I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY FOR THIS WRITING BUT THIS IS HOW I WANTED TO PROPOSE; WILL YOU MAR"

"Why didn't the coast guard save the hippy? He was too far out!"

"What is a Germans favorite letter? I don't know but it's Nazi."

"Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the ""pouring rain."" Well atleast the dew point is coming down!"

"People say you never see ninjas but I see their girlfriends hanging around mosques all the damn time."

"[invents time machine and goes back to the dinosaurs] ""in a few years its gonna be really cold"" *hands them mixtape* ""you're gone need this"""

"TIL of a man who masturbated in public for 16 hours straight before police arrived. He was wrist strained."

"What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator? A car-brrrrr-etor I'll see myself out."