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Joke of the Day

"Why is America trying to bomb the lady who lives in my iPhone she seems nice"

"I tried to catch the essence of American football It's like you got a pretty big can of cold beer and on the other side of field your best buddy dying from hangover"

"I'm so smart, I've got more brains than... Kurt Cobain's ceiling"

"*incoming text* ""hey bud can I crash at ur place"" Sure come on over *sound of approaching airplane*"

"I can still blame my unhealthy eating on ""the holidays"", right? President's Day is coming up."

"We should just rename television viewing ""watching Geico commercials""."

"What did the chopped wood say to the tree? Run!"

"I don't think the church is going to let me pick music for the bible group again. In my defense, the band name ""Lamb of God"" is misleading."

"An Irishman walks out of a pub."

"Someone once asked me if I was drunk. I said yes. That was the shortest job interview I've ever had."