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Joke of the Day

"I sexually identify with the noble panda; I too have difficulty having sex in a cage surrounded by 800 Chinese people"

"I don't like it when my phone puts a word in ""quotals"" like I made it up or I'm stupid or something."

"When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, ""So, what did she say?"" I'm funny that way."

"What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered."

"What do Hispanic weeaboos say on Christmas? Feliz NYAHHHH-vidad"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Caitlin ! Caitlin who ? Caitlin you my trainers tonight I'm wearing them !"

"Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables."

"It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous."

"Hey baby..are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids in you"

"The area of a pie So I asked my maths teacher how to find the area of the pie I had made that day. He said, easy, you use the are formula A=r2. I said, no this is a circular pie."