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Joke of the Day

"Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables."

"I had sex with a girl in an apple orchard, I came in cider."

"I put my phone on airplane mode. Now I can't find it."

"Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other ""Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"" The other one says ""No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"""

"My friend said he was worried he had HIV. I said think about the positives."

"Why did the Chemist give up a singing career? He could not hit any of the ketones."

"For Halloween i'm dressing up as a cloud and handing out celebrity nude photos instead of candy."

"Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems."

"My wife's posted picture she took of me in the shower didn't go viral... Ain't no big thing."

"The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it. Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech."