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Joke of the Day

"Is is best to do your homework on an empty stomach or a full stomach? It's best to do it on paper."

"My therapist told me that if ignorance is bliss, there's no reason for me to be on antidepressants."

"[meeting] DIRECTOR: I want amazing CGI PRODUCER: Yes! D: A huge cast P: Agreed! D: Realistic family photos P: We don't have the budget"

"Twitter is the adult way of having imaginary friends."

"If you want to rob a white person, just say: ""Stop, collaborate, and listen,"" then steal their stuff while they rap the rest of the song."

"I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today I call Him Pop Idol"

"What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran."

"Just Cuz It Zips Dont Mean it Fits"

"What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral? One less drunk."

"Richard Dawkins's next book should be called... ""Religion: Controlling the Masses for Fun and Prophet"""