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Joke of the Day
"My leg goes to sleep as soon as the dog starts humping it. I'm afraid they're married."
Next Joke
"Sometimes when I'm puking I worry I might be pregnant then I remember I'm not Mary And that requires sex Then I laugh And keep puking"
"Never understood the point of black friday Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month"
"What did Victoria say to Vancouver? I'll BC-ing you later."
"Couples who take too many fertility drugs should always put an asterisk next to their child's name to show that the parents used steroids."
"Just cleaned out my desk. Bad news: I apparently have 1,453 Sharpies and none of them are sharp. Good news: I found the plane!"
"As a grown adult man, good luck trying to scare me with anything besides a gun, or common household insects."
"Why do cannibals prefer to eat blind people? Because with one sense gone they taste really good. Sorry, that was wrong... they taste really well."
"I want a hair cut please. Certainly which one !"
"Scientists detected gravitational waves directly for the first time Your mom's gonna get half the Nobel prize."