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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac? They take things literally."

"My wife always cheats when we play board games Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor."

"That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you're a guy."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? The Spanish Inquisition."

"Me: Hey Mr. DJ, do you take requests? Dj: Yes. M: Excellent, can you turn it down a bit."

"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"

"How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg? He has to Breddit"

"1912 called. They want their boring ass concept of a parade back."

"Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any."

"I heard a joke about the swiss the other day But the punch line was too cheesy to repeat."