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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you're a guy."

"Sir, there is a complaint filed against you. You called the prime minister a whore... OK. Who filed the complaint, prime minister or the whore?"

"Clothes make the man. Indonesian children make the clothes."

"A little girl asked her Dad one day, ""Dad, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?'"" Her Dad replied, ""No honey, some of them begin with If I'm elected.'"""

"It has been said that 25% of people have a distrust of stairs Because they are always up to something"

"I'll take ""Much ado"" for $1000, Alex. Answer: ""John Wayne...Jeff Bridges... Donald Trump."" ""Who are The Duke, The Dude, and The Douche."""

"Once I get tan this summer there's going to be literally only one thing that can stop me: simple carbohydrates"

"My wife's idea of oral sex is to sit down and talk me out of it."

"What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!"

"You remind me of my big toe. Mainly, because I am going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own."