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Joke of the Day

"Two Italians are arguing They just keep saying ""You wanna pizza me?!"""

"Just seen a midget struggling carrying a TV to his car. I said "" You need a hand with that flat screen mate?"" He said ""Fuck off dickhead, its an ipad"""

"Terrible I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that."

"Today someone told me that they run into things a lot So I told them that they should walk more"

"What do you call a mill thats just ok? A satisfactory."

"Friend: What time is it? Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away) Friend: Well? Me: Well what?"

"Q: What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill while wearing sunglasses? A: Nothing. He did not recognize them."

"The Most Dangerous Place on the Planet! Those BASTARDS!!! It's a [death trap](http://www.savagemill.com/wp-content/uploads/StoreFront_HandsOfTime.jpg)..."

"remeber: you hav the same number of hours in the day as this tree. and how much oxygen hav u produced? oh none? oh u CONSUMED OXYGEN!?!???"

"What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches? On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch."