114846

Joke of the Day

"Son: ""Hey, Dad! Can I have $20 for a blow job?"" Dad: ""I don't know, son. Are you any good?"""

"Mountains are not funny. They're hill-areas."

"I bought some new shoes today from my dealer. The only problem is I don't know what she laced them with, and have been tripping all day."

"Why did Jose push his wife off the cliff? Tequila..."

"I accidentally bumped pretty hard into what I think was a transgender woman Felt like a dick"

"""Hey girl... You a pokemon trainer?"" Because you make my wiggly tuff"

"Women's hockey is the most dangerous sport... Twelve women, three periods each."

"What type of memory card is always laughing? The XD card."

"What is a cancer patients favorite bingo number? B9"

"Dr. says I have an enlarged heart thanks doc I already know I'm super nice just trying to figure out why I can't breathe when I eat chips"