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Joke of the Day

"I just found out they have Canadian Jeopardy It's almost the same, only your answers must be in the form of an apology."

"911: What's your emergency? ""I put the Ford in affordable housing."" 911: Are you flirting? ""No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"""

"Coco The Clown took his car back to the garage this week. The door wouldn't fall off."

"Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border."

"The stock market is astrology for people who think they're too good for astrology."

"I went shopping for the latest iPhone. Unfortunately, the Apple Store had sold out, so I didn't end up 6sful."

"People as ticklish as me shouldn't get pedicures. I've kicked this Asian in the face twice already."

"Freedom Isn't Free, So Stop Whining And Pay Your Taxes."

"Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with."

"I want to invent an intravenous drug. I will name it Lord's Name, and people will be taking the Lord's Name in vein."