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Joke of the Day

"[Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!"

"Why was the Headless Horseman depressed? He could never seem to get ahead in life."

"What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know? Jiu Jitsu."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number you've never heard of"

"The Italian faucet.... When it drips it goes wopwopwopwopwopwopwopwop."

"I'd write a book on parenting but it'd probably just end up being full of cocktail recipes."

"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,""Give me 2 shots..."" The bartender cuts him off saying,""You only get one shot."""

"Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life? He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise."

"Why do orphans play tennis? It's the only way they can get love."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a Penis."