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Joke of the Day

"No thanks, 5 Hour Energy, I'd rather have a 5 Hour Nap."

"What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root."

"What's the difference between a woman and a gun? Guns don't move out when you bring a new one home."

"Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants."

"What's the best think about leaving California? No more Mexican food and anal sex on Tuesdays."

"An egg voted to leave the omelet.. and then.. it.. did.. yeah, sorry its just too scrambled. there's no way to get a good yolk out of this mess.."

"What the corniest part of a corn field? The corner."

"What's a feminist's favorite subject? Trigger-nometry"

"What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants? Silicone Valley"

"Where did the pregnant T-Rex go for a check-up? The dinocologist"