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Joke of the Day

"Why did the monkey cross the road? To loot the pharmacy on the other side"

"I wish I could get bitten by a radioactive confident person."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't Budget<drops mic> Ironically I'm an Accountant and have Chron's so this is not my problem."

"Should I have a baby after 35? No 35 children is enough."

"What did the zoophile scientist say to his assistant? If you need me I'll be in my lab"

"Two reasons I won't give money to homeless people. 1. They're probably just going to buy beer with that money. 2. I'm going to buy beer with that money. Edit: changed for to with."

"Love is a lot like algebra... You look at your X and try to figure out Y."

"A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation."

"Did you here about the priest? He broke his organ on a hymn"

"Women are like convertibles. They're a lot more fun when the top's down."