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Joke of the Day
"Ted Cruz is going to be in a movie Dummy Does Dallas"
Next Joke
"A Chinese Couple are having Sex ... The Husband says ; ""Oh i really fancy a 69 love, you up for it?"" The wife replies ""why you want beef and broccoli now !"""
"Old high school classmate: Really? You're about to have your 4th child? Me: Are you surprised I like kids? Him: I'm surprised you had sex."
"[on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? ""Tell me why."" [winks at tattoo artist] No reason."
"What did one telepath say to the other telepath? Nothing."
"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But, the trouble is getting them in there."
"My buddy just got a supercomputer. Thing's about as big as a room. That shit Cray."
"Today my 6yo said it was good it's snowing, as that means the earth isn't getting hotter, and tonight she starts as an anchor on Fox News."
"I heard dogs like to play with balls ...so I decided to get out the peanut butter"
"If I got a boyfriend I wouldn't know what to do... What do they eat? How often do they need to be walked? Can they be house trained?"