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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to slide down your chimney tonight. Wink. Wink."

"Do you know how you piss off a bunch of people at once? http://www.redditstatic.com/reddit500.png"

"What do you call Kurt Russel playing an archaeologist? Kurt Fossil"

"My son didn't understand the concept of a committed relationship, so I told him it's like making a girl your default browser."

"My university was really pissed off when they found out that I had a BSc., MSc., and a PhD. They really gave me the third degree."

"If you want to interrogate someone, do it in German You could say ""I love you and brought you flowers"" and I'd shit myself!"

"Fetish... I have a fetish for switching on air conditioning units. It gives me vent elation."

"The past, present and future walked into a bar... ... it was tense."

"*bank* 'miss, it says here that your debt is outstanding' *twirls hair* oh yeah? well i think your debt is pretty cool too"

"Never gonna be as big as ED BASSMASTER but alright with me! Never gonna be Never gonna be as big as ED!"