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Joke of the Day
"So I have a black girlfriend now ...after I severely burned my hand on the stove"
Next Joke
"How to win the war on drugs... 1) legalize all drugs. 2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service."
"the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard"
"Why are Subway footlongs only 11 inches? Because Jared likes his meat in smaller buns."
"Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well Grandma's very deaf so I'm writing very loudly."
"Why did the girl fall off the swing? coz she has no arms."
"I took this girl home after our date... Her: When you said magical in bed this isn't what I expe- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card? Her: *softly* holy shit"
"I will always remember what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"Alcohol Influences If alcohol influences short-term memory, what does alcohol do?"
"After nearly three months of trying... ...my wife just told me that she's pregnant!! She has the worst stutter ever!"