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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the hard working sander company that refuses to give their workers kneepads. Aka Bernie Sanders."

"Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: ""woof"""

"How do you insult an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it is from."

"What do you call four mexicans in quick sand? Quatro, cinco."

"My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says ""We need to talk""."

"Viagra now comes in a liquid form, people in nightclubs have been putting drops of it in their eyes..... Apparently it makes them look hard."

"Talking to my friend who started watching a new anime makes me feel like a German on D-Day The ships just keep coming."

"I want to start body building. I just need to find out where hospitals put the cadavers."

"if you ask a veteran if they've killed anyone and they say they don't like to talk about it, that means no"

"I wonder if ugly people make a pretty face when they orgasm."