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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people"

"I used to never give a shit, but my attitude is improving. Now I don't give two shits."

"Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words."

"Her: You know I love it when you pull my hair... Me: Yes, baby Her: But the other people at this PTA meeting are beginning to stare."

"What do you call a pirate who solves mysteries? A pirate aye!"

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"I remember when I was gay It was a real pain in the ass."

"What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food? PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)"

"Your mom is like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks balls and then gets laid in the closet."

"I've had blue balls for a week. I need to stop dipping them in ink."