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Joke of the Day

"What does a fish say when it hits a concrete wall? Dam."

"WIFE: *filing for divorce* ME: Are you mad at me?"

"there are 1,013,913 english words but I never could string together any of them to accurately explain how much I want to hit u with a chair"

"What do you call a horse that's been all around the world? A globe-trotter!"

"Grad School: Because it's better than saying ""I'm still looking."""

"I come from a small town. I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town. Old Rodney Dangerfield..."

"*pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*"

"New machine at the gym There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all. Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas."

"Limbaugh is leaving the US because of Health Care Reform? Well good luck finding a country with indoor plumbing but no socialized medicine!"

"A fox snuck into the chicken coup last night and killed them all... Authorities were unsure whether to label it a coup d'etat or a henocide..."