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Joke of the Day

"there are 1,013,913 english words but I never could string together any of them to accurately explain how much I want to hit u with a chair"

"My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss."

"Im at the swamp does anyone need anything"

"At work today I noted that it's difficult to see yellow marker on white paper... My Asian coworker said, ""Are you trying to say you can't see white and yellow together?"""

"What does a grizzly wear under his fur? Under-bear."

"How do most rappers build a following? They go shopping at a department store."

"A wind turbine asks his friend what his favourite genre of music is To which he responds: ""I'm a big metal fan."""

"Here is a joke I just read Question: How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: I'm better than you."

"Where do internet pirates get their loot? From pier to pier."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, though, it's every man for himself"