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Joke of the Day

"there are 1,013,913 english words but I never could string together any of them to accurately explain how much I want to hit u with a chair"

"Why You Should Never Be Late for a Speaking Engagement An important public speaking lesson wrapped up in a good, clean joke."

"Why do Baptists have so many children? They only use holy condoms."

"Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful."

"What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall? Dam!"

"Last night I slept with my contact lenses on. My dreams have never been clearer."

"Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together."

"Why are Jewish men circumsised? Because Jewish women only touch things 20% off."

"How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One."

"Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible."