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Joke of the Day

"What do punctuation marks win in competitions? Apos-trophies"

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"Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy? Because it was screwed up!"
"What do you call two lesbians on a canoe? Fur Traders"
"How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards? I wub wub wub you...."
"I love killing for fun ""Sociopath! Arrest him!"" I mean I love hunting ""Why didn't you say so my good man, want to kill together sometime?"""
"What do you call a helicopter with no radar and no windows? A Helenkelicopter."
"Ebola is in Dallas? At least the Dallas Cowboys don't have to worry about it. They can't catch anything."
"What did the black kid get for christmas? Your bike."
"My doctor told me I need to stop masturbating. I guess it was kinda getting in the way of the physical."
"When someone tells me they're a doctor or an engineer all I can think is: ""wow your parents must've yelled at you to do your homework a lot"""