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Joke of the Day

"I was just awarded a trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf."

"Women used to call me ugly until they heard how much money I have Now they call me ugly and poor. (Heard a long time ago, couldn't find source)"

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again"

"So I got the new Note 7 and I don't see what the fuss is about exploding? Everything is going fi"

"When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That's what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron."

"What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital? An Oncologist"

"What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose"

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? Reply: Yes How did you manage to get between their tiny legs?"