114259

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a guy that overeats for the sole purpose of getting stomachaches? A glutton for punishment."

"I follow ripped guys around the grocery store and just buy what they buy"

"A German man and his son walk into a bar... A German man and his son walk into a bar. The man points to his son and says ""Ein Bier bitte"". Bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve your Kind here""."

"I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them."

"Shit. Damn it. A bumper sticker just changed my entire worldview, again. This happens like 3 times a day."

"How are women and hurricanes alike? The both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave."

"Back in my day we didn't have leaderboards or RTs. We just tweeted for fun. Uphill both ways. In the snow."

"What's the difference between a video game and a baby? I don't start masturbating when I've beaten a video game"

"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."

"What's the difference between a joke and a retorical question?"