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Joke of the Day

"A guy caught cold. His wife offers to make him Chicken Soup A chicken sitting nearby says ""Why don't you try Aleve first, ma'am?"""

"Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop? The Liquor store"

"What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college? Coagulations!"

"You can park your car anywhere you want as long as you turn on your emergency blinkers. It's one of the more obscure lifehacks out there"

"I played UNO with my cousins from Mexico last weekend. They just call it **ONE**"

"The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly."

"why did my wife didn't like her jewellery? cuz she is a nazi"

"Relationship status: Autocorrect changes my girl to my grill."

"Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I might have to kiss tomorrow..."

"[Worm sitting alone] WAITER: Dinner for 1? Dumb question W: But- *worm cuts self in half* *waiter shrieks* 2nd WORM: I'll have the prime rib"