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Joke of the Day

"TYPING IN ALL CAPS (OPTIONAL)"

"""There are hot Shingles in your area"" - My Doctor"

"A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was ""yesss"" because I'm nosey."

"Why do people procrastinate? I'll tell you later."

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"What do you get when you have sex with the Quaker Oats guy? Oatmeal Creme Pies."

"What is a King's favourite piece of Golf Equipment? His Royal Tee"

"just taught my 3yo to sing ""if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands"" and then laugh at the people clapping"

"If there was a way to read a woman's mind...I'm still not sure I'd want too...I hate shoes, shopping, gossip & I already know I'm annoying."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... (Self-Repost) ...One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there!""."