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Joke of the Day

"""There are hot Shingles in your area"" - My Doctor"

"Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison? He was charged with battery."

"I almost took a bite of my friend's sandwich Woops, wrong sub."

"[interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!"

"Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone."

"Why wasn't the cat moving? It was on paws"

"Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you to get off your ass and do things."

"I'll have a 12 year old scotch. Hold the scotch."

"My bro and I are building a bar. My step bro and I want to build a bar in Aushwitz to tap an undiscovered tourism market. We want to call it Gin and Jews."

"I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by. People hate it, but I'm a fan."