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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by not taking my ADHD medication. Oh, hey. Check this out! There's a whole nother box for typing stuff."

"What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces? Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them."

"Boolean Algebra You either know it or you don't."

"*at the pond* ""honthere's something i need to ask you"" *emotional* yes? *blows duck call* *ducks on water arrange to spell out 'TACOS?'*"

"Barbie didn't give me a poor body image; Barbie taught me you can't reattach a head once it's been removed from the body."

"I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door. ""Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"""

"Wanna hear a joke...? Youtube ToS."

"[pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*"

"Restaurant Activity: Walk over to a table of strangers and ask, ""Who ordered the farts?"" Then, fart."

"If I had any self control I'd probably eat that too."