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Joke of the Day

"So I told a premature baby joke at an open mic night but I don't think the crowd liked it. Apparently it was too soon"

"DAD: You know, no one in this city is allowed to be buried in that cemetery ME: Wtf why not? DAD: Because *locking eyes* they're still alive"

"Just like crime, slavery doesn't pay."

"Starbucks coffee and Adam Hills. ""Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You're going to get it, but its going to be rough."" Adam Hills"

"Abortion - it really brings out the child in you. Anyone got any similar puns? Also: - 9/11 jokes are just plane rude."

"I used to be a plastic surgeon. Which raised a few eyebrows. (Credits: Stewart Francis. Look him up, this guy is hilarious)"

"Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy? He was buying drinks."

"Why is PMS called PMS? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was taken."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lighbulb has to want to change."

"Blowjobs did not live up to my expectations. They suck."