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Joke of the Day

"Blowjobs did not live up to my expectations. They suck."

"I sexually identify as Counter Strike... *And I'm globally offended*"

"*hostage situation* Our FIRST demand: we want more bullets because we ran out... NO DON'T COME IN HERE"

"Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep ""WTF you doing?"" ""for your headache."" ""I don't have one!"" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys"

"Tip for new parents: The less you feed 'em, the less they poop."

"My buddy the hacker took the quiz ""What Beatles song best describes your life."" The answer he got: ""My Way""."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? you nail food to the ceiling"

"Anyone know any good ""walks into a bar"" type jokes?"

"Take pride in what you're into, if thats exponents, well... More power to ya!"

"A feminist asked for my name I said I'm Hugh Mungus"