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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a kid and a drawer? A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells for a bra? Because ""B"" shells would be too small!"

"You know those people who only tweet once every couple of days? What do they have going on that I don't? I mean, besides a life."

"I wanted to date a girl once... but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell."

"What did a piece of tofu say when it got dirty? Misoyaki!"

"I grew up in Bolivia but I left because the currency is bullshit."

"Why is stormtrooper always late from work? He keeps missing his train"

"I'm sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth."

"so I used to read /r/nosleep to get scared Now all I have to do is remember than Hillary is still running"

"What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents? An elf driving car"