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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend says she's leaving me because I'm too skeptical. But I don't believe her."

"Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar"

"End Jokes/Quotes from the tv series QI - Season 2 & 3 humorous quotes, funny stories, and jokes by Stephen Fry at the end of each episode of the show."

"[at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*"

"The celibate butcher is pretty successful in his occupations. Nothing beats his meat!"

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment."

"Why was the geophysicist arrested? He was doing crystal math."

"Life is like photography, we develop from the negatives."

"The inventor of the salad spinner would be spinning in his grave if he would have been buried in a salad spinner."