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Joke of the Day

"I had my credit card stolen. About two years ago now. I never reported it though. On my first statement, I found that the thieves were charging less than my wife was."

Next Joke
 
"What is cowhide mostly used for? Keeping cows from falling apart."
"Sorry I'm shit faced Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen? There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn."
"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."
"What do you call it when a therapist falls down for no reason? A Freudian slip."
"What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Big holes all over Australia!"
"Poor superman.he can't go commando without the whole world noticing"
"I got the early bird special at Denny's. Don't do it, these worms taste like shit."
"How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar? Both enjoy cracking open a cold one."
"What do you get when someone refuses to pay the bills? A Greek."