113749

Joke of the Day

"I've recently begun living with a horse. At first, I was worried the smell might be a problem But, you know what? He doesn't seem to mind"

"Math joke: Why can't you derivate a social scientist? Because they don't have a function"

"What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ? An elephant in a lift !"

"[travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over"

"What did the Alabama Police officer call the black guy who had been shot 6 times in the head? The worst case of suicide he ever saw"

"I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids... ...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"

"Whats another name for google glass? Dome Chrome."

"Why wouldn't the four month old African stop crying? He was going through a midlife crisis"

"Who's the most popular guy on a nude beach? The one who shows up with a dozen donuts and two cups of coffee."