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Joke of the Day
"Mom, you're embarrassing me in front of the hostages!"
Next Joke
"If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately"
"What did the suspenders say to the trousers? What's up, britches?!"
"What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour? A double crosser."
"My marriage counselor asked me to think of something me and my wife have in common.... I said, ""Well, we both refuse to suck dick."""
"What do you call a basement full of liberals? A whine cellar."
"I can't argue with your love for bananas They have a peel..."
"In an interview: ""How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?"" ""I Excel at it."" ""Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir?"" ""Word."" Edit: thanks u/Steve_Jobs_iGhost"
"Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: ""We gotta go back, I forgot to pee."" The other one replies: ""No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!"""
"What's the difference between a USB and the USA? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard."