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Joke of the Day

"A guy wakes up in hospital after surgery and complains he can't feel his legs ""I know"" said the doctor. ""We had to amputate your arms"""

"Excuse, where is the opposite sidewalk? Right there (points). -Can't be, right there they told me it was here."

"Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other... How do we drive this thing?"

"Who is Hitler's favourite character in Star Wars? Princess Leiabensraum"

"What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t."

"Remember, when you're driving in the snow, it's important to speed up and go as fast as you can so you don't get stuck."

"What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space? An astrofizzassist."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... I can't put it down."

"What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men? 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!"

"Why doesn't Japan have elections? I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates."