187638

Joke of the Day

"Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps."

"Why is six afraid of seven... Because seven is a registered six offender."

"I have this strange feeling that the current VP of the USA is going to do something ridiculous to Pence But he is just Biden his time"

"A joke my kid told me today. Him: dad guess who is the smallest family in the world? Me: I don't know, who? Him: the atoms family. Not bad for 7 years old."

"[catching breath at friends house] I was being chased by a bike cop so I threw up a left turn signal but actually turned right and it worked"

"two fish swim into a concrete wall one turn to the other and says:""Dam"""

"Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent's face there is no known comeback."

"Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything."

"Killing people is just like smoking cigarettes I can stop whenever I want"

"All this time I wondered why birds were out to get me. Turns out I just had a chip on my shoulder. #blood"