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Joke of the Day

"What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ? Cut funding for wind power in Australia"

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"

"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"

"""There will be snacks."" - someone successfully convincing me to do anything"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? Dnner"

"Maybe mama duck isn't leading her babies, maybe she's trying to outrun them."

"i dont care what anyone says, i dont have a follow up statement i just dont care what anyone says."

"78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up."

"What do you say to a gay man with plumbers butt? Pull up your pants, I can see your vagina. Bahahahahahahahahahaha."

"boys need to work on keeping their Instagram up to date with good pics. I can't show my mom some pic of a fish you caught 120 weeks ago"