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Joke of the Day

"5-year-old: I'm supposed to find out more about my hero for school. Me: Aw, you came to me. 5: Yeah. Can you tell me more about Batman?"

"I love whiteboards They're remarkable."

"What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A nun falling down stairs"

"Winning the lottery is a 50/50 chance You either win..... Or you don't"

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory... but you couldn't park anywhere near the place. [credit to Stephen Wright]"

"I'm certain my job is interfering with my drinking"

"No end in sight... I can't see an end. I have no control. I don't think there's any escape. I don't even have a home anymore. Time for a new keyboard."

"What do you call it when you shoot 49 hot loads in people at a gay bar? An Orlando ~~black~~ *white* sheet party..."

"What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker? Hop in."

"It still takes me a while before I completely trust any woman whose name is mentioned in ""Mambo No. 5""."