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Joke of the Day

"Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: ""He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."""

Next Joke
 
"Pretty woman, the kind that don't eat meat Pretty woman, the kind that likes to hug trees Ohoh what can I do? She's making me eat vegan food"
"Do you know why every new bride smiles? Because she just gave her last blow job."
"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to ""Dick"". Especially since his name is Steve."
"Thanks autocorrect. I wanted her to know that I shaved my duck."
"What is a dark comedy? A black guy with small ^dick."
"I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said ""I've been waiting all day for you "" Well I said. I got here as fast as I could."
"[guy who named the bedroom gets home] Honey? Our son got in trouble at the learnroom. His teacher called while I was driving in my wheelsbox"
"Don't people who say ""cray cray"" realize how stew stew they sound?"
"There are three types of people in the world Those who can count, and those who can't"