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Joke of the Day

"Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: ""He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."""

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a lesbian with one leg shorter than the other? Gaylene!"
"The platypus has to be the WEIRDEST looking animal I've ever gotten pregnant."
"""And then she kissed the frog and saw him turn into a prince, because kissing frogs makes you hallucinate."" -me as a babysitter"
"There once were three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."
"I'll accept the 'fat fingers' excuse for typos but if you fuck up your/you're I'm going to need to see a doctor's note explaining your IQ."
"Cop: ""You been drinkin?"" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny ""You're free to go.."" Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?"
"Why do people call their weed the Koran? Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned"
"I once tripped and fell into a deep crevasse. Sorry, that's the hole joke."
"McDonald's should start gearing ads toward their target audience: husky toddlers and seagulls."