112877

Joke of the Day

"Jessica Simpson has already taught her daughter everything she knows."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a hardware problem."

"[Job Interview] ""It says here under skills, that you can eat rice?"" *Eats rice with chop sticks* ""Holy shit! When can you start?!"""

"I don't know why there's such a stigma on masturbation. I find that it really comes in handy."

"Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce"

"Being an ugly woman is like being a man... You're going to have to work."

"When I went to chemistry class for the first time, I was not surprised... The classroom poster was periodictable"

"A local policeman did a talk on heroin It was impossible to understand him"

"when I was a kid, our family was very poor.... I remember when my dad was cutting onions and our whole family was crying. poor onions. he was such a good dog"

"*i finally get a girl over* *dad rolls out from under my bed* YO SON WHATA YA CALL A PIG WHO DOES KARATE? ""dad no"" A PORK CHOP"